Mother hen, they called me, laughing
I wondered what they meant by that
Only you, they said.
I don’t think so –
There must be
Plenty of others who
Lend a helping hand
When perhaps they shouldn’t
Even if it makes no sense
To do so.
Yes I know it’s almost unsupportable;
The broken Jeep parked sadly in the driveway waiting
Has reminded me these past few months
Daily that I really can’t afford such kindness
The dollars for repairs aren’t there
I know. I miss my Jeep, especially now it’s winter.
And when, in deep frustration
You utter oaths of leaving
To find a place less cluttered
By detritus and people
I must apologize for not consulting
But then again, this is my home
Who lives in it is for me to decide
As annoying as that sounds.
I’ve worked hard to get just where I am
It isn’t hard enough right now
A hamster on a wheel I am
So are you
While others idle is maddening
In this I certainly relate
And once again I’m sorry
I’ve made it all so hard for you.
I don’t know if you will go or not
That’s for your heart to say
And if there’s anything I’ve learned
In life is not to hold another down
I wish there were another way
To help I just don’t know how
The irony is, were you to go
So must house guest for legal reasons
I’d just have prolonged the inevitable
I suppose, for him.
I can’t begin to verbalize
What lies inside my heart
What feelings your words
Conjure up in me right now
Memories of nine years shared;
How quickly time’s gone by.
I do know that sharing space
With the person I am helping
Simply just reminds me more
Of why I said goodbye before
Nothing’s changed on that account
That much I can promise.
Before you say you’ve had enough
Please think back to when
In times gone bad before for you
Whose hand was there to lift you up?
And since you and many others
Simply cannot fathom why
I do these things for other people
I’ll let you in on a little secret
For it is simply this:
In all my life when I have yearned
For that magic soul to stand behind me
Lend a helping hand when times were darkest
More often than not I get criticized
Left to my own devices;
In this lonely place I’ve sworn
I’d never do the same
Unless there were no other option
And so I do as I would have done
Unto me as the saying goes.
It’s as simple as that,
There’s nothing more than that.
So all I can say now is
I will always believe a person’s life
Is their own to live,
With me or without me,
It’s not my place to say.
(c) Catherine M. Harris, Dec. 12, 2010 – all rights reserved